As the final instalment of The Ultimo Series, Mary-Jo McVeigh’s recent presentation on The Ethics of Care: Lessons from the Neurobiology of Early Life Trauma and Abuse combined cutting-edge research with deeply personal insights. Growing up in Belfast, McVeigh was shaped by her compassionate mother, who extended unconditional love to those in need within their community. This upbringing laid the foundation for her work as a trauma therapist and accredited mental health social worker. With her charismatic personality and enduring accent, McVeigh captivated the audience, guiding them through practical strategies for fostering resilience and ethical caregiving.
Before delving into the neurobiology of trauma, McVeigh introduced her perspective with a poem by Lebanese-American writer Khalil Gibran, On Children. The poem underscored her belief that parents and caregivers are not tasked with giving children their thoughts, but rather with equipping them with an ethical backbone to carry into the future. This idea resonated throughout the talk, as McVeigh explored how secure attachments and passionate boundaries help children develop self-knowledge and reciprocal respect, providing a solid foundation for navigating life’s challenges.
McVeigh explained the profound impact of early trauma on brain development, focusing on how abuse or neglect can disrupt the biological systems that regulate stress and emotion. These disruptions often result in heightened stress sensitivity and difficulties in emotional regulation and behavioural control. In contrast, the protective power of secure attachment relationships, formed in infancy and early childhood, can buffer against the adverse effects of trauma and help build resilience. For educators and parents alike, McVeigh stressed that their emotional responsiveness and availability are crucial for fostering healthy social and psychological development.
Her lecture extended beyond the science to embrace the ethics of caregiving. Addressing the audience directly, McVeigh affirmed their commitment to ethical caregiving, stating, “Your presence is your ethics.” She encouraged caregivers to embark on ‘ethical adventures,’ exploring how to meet children’s needs without stunting their confidence, while ensuring self-care. Acknowledging her own imperfections, McVeigh emphasised the importance of reflection, honesty and transparency, advising adults to admit when they are wrong and take responsibility for repair. “Hurt is unavoidable,” she said, “but it is in taking responsibility for the repair as an adult that you teach children how it’s done.”
Her talk was enriched by personal stories, particularly about raising her two sons. McVeigh shared moments of vulnerability and epiphany, offering advice drawn from her own experiences. She cautioned against criticising children’s efforts to help around the house and advocated for creating imaginative experiences during their younger years while recognising when to transition into a parental role as they grow older. Above all, she encouraged the audience to ask, “What would love ask me to do?” and to “Turn to love every day,” for the benefit of both children and themselves.
The presentation also explored practical strategies for integrating trauma-informed practices into caregiving. McVeigh called for environments where children feel emotionally safe and supported, with their experiences validated and healing encouraged. For educators at IGS, her insights were particularly relevant. Understanding the neurobiological and emotional needs of students enables teachers to build classrooms that foster academic achievement alongside emotional wellbeing. This approach helps educators recognise the signs of trauma and respond in ways that promote healing and growth.
As McVeigh spoke, she balanced her profound knowledge with an engaging roadmap for action, demonstrating how parents and teachers can nurture young people into contributors to society. Her methods boiled down to honesty, transparency, and a willingness to change—all pathways to reciprocal respect and resilient relationships.
About The Ultimo Series
Prepare for an intellectually invigorating experience with our thought-stimulating series of academic lectures. Drawing on the expertise at IGS’ doorstep, renowned thought leaders will facilitate discussions and engage in interactive Q&A sessions on critical topics, such as our environmental impact, navigating Artificial Intelligence, the ethical intricacies of social media, and how to prepare our children for a changing world.
The Ultimo Series is directed by IGS Deputy Principal Academic Thom Marchbank.
Proceeds of all ticket sales will support the IGS Giving Program including our Indigenous Scholarship Fund and Building Fund.
The Ultimo Series will continue offering invaluable opportunities for professional development and community engagement in 2025.