Paul Galea:
Hello, Alexandra Lowe. It’s Paul Galea from International Grammar here. Just ringing up to see what you’re up to and how you’re going.
Alexandra:
Hi. Yeah, I’m doing good. I’m currently doing a Bachelor of Computer Science at Macquarie University. I’m in my final year this year. I had some trouble getting started with the degree because COVID had got in the way, and I had anxieties over that. So that was one of the things that I’ve been doing. I’ve also been just generally trying to get my life in order so I can start working a job once I leave uni and just doing the general getting your life started.
Paul Galea:
Can I just jump in there? One of the interesting things I’ve seen with my own children, but also with the the kids that I’ve spoken to with in interviews or just at reunions, is that period when you finish your degree and then it seems to be a period of a little bit of instability-because up to then you’re more or less knowing what you’re doing. So yeah….
Alexandra:
Yeah-education being planned out and all that and everything being pretty ordered.
Paul Galea:
Yeah. So I have found that and, in fact, I even remember back to my time. I drove a taxi once I left university because I was a bit lost and not knowing what was going on. So you are not alone there, my friend. Now, just to remind me, what year did you finish at IGS?
Alexandra:
I started at IGS I think, in 2016, when I was in Year 9. And I left IGS in 2019, along with the rest of the class of 2019. So that was five years ago.
Paul Galea:
Yeah. And you mentioned that your uni degree was stalled a little bit by COVID. Do you want to explain? I mean, I know a lot of people who found the whole learning online thing pretty unsatisfactory. Were you in that group?
Alexandra:
I would say so. It was difficult to adjust to learning online, especially when COVID hit and lockdown started, I had been trying to do a Diploma of Engineering because back in high school, I’d hoped to do engineering at uni. And unfortunately, because my HSC was pretty rough, I didn’t quite get the ATAR I needed to get straight into engineering from the first year. So I tried to do a Diploma of Engineering so I could get into the second year of a proper Bachelors Degree using the diploma as a jump off point. Unfortunately, I realised that engineering was not my thing. So I transferred over to a Bachelor of Science and that meant I had to wait until the second part of 2020 to start that. When I did do that, the uni didn’t really adjust that gracefully to online learning, when it came to the Bachelor of Computer Science course. A lot of the courses had additional requirements on work which were really demanding. There were a lot of hurdle tasks in the first two years, which meant I had to keep up on multiple sets of things every week for two years, which was a struggle. So there were some anxieties there that caused me to fall behind a bit. I picked myself back up around 2022 and now I’m doing OK. I’m currently doing all my 2nd and 3rd year courses that I haven’t completed. So, hopefully, I’ll be done by the end of this year or the beginning of next year at the earliest, depending on if I can get one of my units done over the Christmas holidays, as a catch up unit.
Paul Galea:
Yeah, well, you wouldn’t have been the only person who struggled a little bit during COVID!
Alexandra:
I imagine not.
Paul Galea:
That’s what I’m telling you. It was just a very, very interesting and slightly bizarre snapshot in time for all of us. And it’s one of those things that if you talk to anyone around the world, it’s one thing that basically everyone around the world has got in common. So it was a very, very unusual time. You’re also not alone in that you decided that the thing you thought you wanted to do was not for you. And you’ve changed again. That happens basically to every person I have talked to on these interviews! Are you enjoying your second choice? Are you happy that you’ve made that?
Alexandra:
I think that computer science is good. There are some things about it that I don’t particularly enjoy. One of the units that I had a lot of trouble with was the Java unit where we covered Java programming. And while I was familiar with Java from my time doing Robotics IGS ( RIGS) back at school, when the did the first tech challenge, we programmed the robots in, Android Java, which is the Google version of it. It was still difficult, like Java is- I just don’t like the language very much. And it was annoying to pass. There were a lot of tricky coding assignments and also I started it during COVID. And again they had some hurdle tasks on it in the unit which, when I did it last time, I managed to finally get through it. So, yeah, that unit was really the the thing that stopped me from moving forward for a good deal of time because I kept trying it and trying it. And,for some reason, it’s a requirement for the 30 units. So, it was very annoying. I eventually managed to get through it. And I’m so glad I’ve done that, because now I can actually finish my degree. But, yeah, that was one of the hurdles.
Paul Galea:
I relate really closely to that because in my PE degree, we had to pass a subject called Statistics. And I had the mathematical skills of a mosquito, and……so I’m hearing you. OK, so you came to IGS in 2016 and full disclosure here-your mum was working at the school as a science teacher, and,…..
Alexandra:
She’s now at Scots College and she’s doing well there. She’s settled in. She had a rough first year but apparently she’s doing OK now. The boys are treating her fine.
Paul Galea:
Your mum’s a good teacher.
Alexandra:
She’s a damn good teacher. I wish I’d had her when I was doing my Chemistry HSC, to be honest, and I did technically have her. But, she was busy with her own work and I was getting very stressed and was not the easiest person to mentor in the home environment. So……
Paul Galea:
In my own experience, the hardest thing I’ve ever done or one of the hardest things I’ve ever done was be a parent of a child doing the HSC. Very, very stressful. Much harder than being a HSC teacher or an HSC mentor. And your younger brother, Tom, also went to IGS.
Alexandra:
Yes, he’s now doing Medical Science at UTS. He’s hoping to do his GAMSAT(medical school admission test) this year and once he finishes his degree also this year, he wants to go and do Medicine. He wants to become an oncologist, I believe. So a cancer doctor. I don’t talk to him that much, so…..
Paul Galea:
I keep saying this, but it’s hilarious how many siblings of kids don’t know what their siblings are doing. They don’t. I just ask people all the time,”How are they doing? What are they doing or how’s your sister? What are they doing ?” And they say, “Oh, I know he’s at uni.” But that’s about all they can tell me! You came to IGS in 2016, and spent four years there……
Alexandra:
IGS was, if I’m going to tell the truth, the best school I ever went to by far. The previous school I went to, which we won’t name…. I had a very poor experience there. Did not like it. Did not enjoy it. And I came to IGS and it was one of the most accepting environments. It is the most accepting school in Sydney as far as my experience goes; certainly one of the more community focused schools in Sydney. There’s a great environment to learn in. To be honest, I enjoyed my time there, as short as it was.
Paul Galea:
OK, well, it wasn’t that short.
Alexandra:
No. I mean, four years is a long time, but, I mean, compared to some of the other people in my year who were there since kindergarten. I wish that I’d been there since kindergarten – I probably would have had a much better time, to be honest.
Paul Galea:
Yeah, OK, that’s nice to hear. And obviously I remember you very well. I remember you being in my history classes. In the…
Alexandra:
The history of modern warfare. No history of something like that?
Paul Galea:
Conflict and War. It would have been Conflict and War.
Alexandra:
That one. Yeah.
Paul Galea:
Yeah. And also, I remember you were extremely involved in the Robotics Club.
Alexandra:
Yeah, that was one of the good times I had there. Obviously, as far as I know, RIGS is no longer active, which is a bit of a shame. I did learn a lot from it, though. That has helped me massively while doing comp science at uni, especially when it came to learning programming for the FRC. A lot of that stuff is coming in very handy. Unfortunately, the person who taught me the most, that helped me the most, who I won’t name – they are no longer with us. So……
Paul Galea:
Yeah, I’m aware of that, and we won’t go there. We won’t. That was tragic.
Alexandra:
That was very tragic. Yeah.
Paul Galea:
So with the RIGS, you made some good friends. Are you still in contact with any of those people?
Alexandra:
I’m on ‘Steam‘ with Donovan but don’t talk to him that much. I haven’t really kept up with many of the other people from IGS. I still keep up with Theo Hanrahan and Zach Martin, who I was best friends with in my year. They are doing well. Zach’s doing video game design at some place near UTS. And Theo is currently doing a psychology degree at Macquarie. Other than that, I haven’t kept up with many other people. I’m on Facebook with a few people now, but other than that, not really many. Yeah.
Paul Galea:
All right. So one of the things that I think people might be interested is that when you came to IGS in 2016, you were Jake Loh. And…..
Alexandra:
I was-I think the term is and I honestly didn’t research this a lot-I believe the term is ‘assumed male at birth’. I honestly don’t know how I feel about that term. But yeah, I was male at the time, or I was presenting as that.
Paul Galea:
And now you are known as Alexandra Loh, and I am keen to know a little bit about that journey because I think it would be very interesting to a lot of people.
Alexandra:
Well, let’s put it this way. When I was at IGS, or before I went to IGS when I started puberty, when I was, like, thirteen or fourteen, something like that, I felt my body changing and it didn’t feel right. And at the time, I was like, OK, so people are telling me that puberty is weird and, you know, you’re meant to feel that way. And I was like, OK, sure-that that seems right. But then it just kept going. It was not wrong-my skin just didn’t fit right like it was cool, I guess, is the best word. There’s not really a way to describe it. Eventually, when I came to IGS and after getting involved with some communities which had a number of Trans people, I came to the realisation that I was possibly Trans, and then eventually I realised, ‘No, I’m definitely trans,’ and immediately decided, ‘I just cannot deal with the consequences right now because I realised that I was in Year 11. I’m starting my HSC, trials and whatnot.’ And so I just sat on it for two years and then after uni. So after high school, when I went to uni, I also waited for another two years because I wasn’t sure I wanted to come out then. And then I came out in 2022 around July, and have been out for, like, nineteen months- now near twenty months, I guess. And I’ve been on HRT, Hormone Replacement Therapy, since October of 2022.
Paul Galea:
And tell me how do you feel about all that? What’s your feeling about how it’s all going and are you much happier? Seeing how things have changed?
Alexandra:
Well, OK, I’m much happier for one. I am. I was incredibly-I didn’t even realise it when I was at school-but I was incredibly, incredibly depressed. I didn’t even realise it. And the thing is, I was on antidepressants, so I think that’s partly why I didn’t realise it, but I was not happy. I came out. My parents were fine with it. Everyone around me was fine with it, which is really rare, as far as I understand it. I had a good experience compared to a lot of other Trans people. But I’m doing fine. I’m a lot happier. I’m happy with the way my body is going now. I had some rough times-getting blood tests every six months or so has been a nightmare, and I really do not enjoy it. It has meant it has given me the chance to work through my fear of needles, which is nice. Other than that, it’s been going fine. I’ve had very few problems and, yeah, I’m happier in general. Just being myself.
Paul Galea:
So if I said to you-and you tell me if I’m wrong-but if I said to you that the person that you were as Jake Loh was not happy because you basically weren’t that person. And now that you’ve become Alexandra, you are that person, and you feel way more comfortable in that. And therefore you’re more comfortable in life. Is that a fair estimation?
Alexandra:
Well, saying that me as Jake and me as I am now are two different people? I mean, obviously, we are different people at different stages in our life, but that’s just being human. But I’m not a different person. I still like science fiction. A bit too much, I guess. I still enjoy the same things. It’s not so much that Jake was a different person. It was me under a different name and presenting as a different gender. There isn’t a distinct difference between me and who I was at school other than I’m a bit more adult now. And I am presenting as a gender in my head, not necessarily, genetically or whatever.
Paul Galea:
Oh, well, that sounds very good. It sounds as though you’re handling it very well. I know your mother one million percent supported you- she couldn’t wait to tell me and I was, I have got to say, a bit surprised, but again ……
Alexandra:
Well, I didn’t tell anyone, not even anonymous people online for a good four years after I came to the conclusion that I was Trans. I wasn’t scared that I would be rejected at IGS or by my parents because I knew that, no matter what, there wouldn’t be that much of an issue. My real concern was that the consequences of my choice would be that I’d lose all my life and that I’d be put in a position where I would have to do the HSC and also deal with transitioning at the same time. And even though it turned out it was possibly a bad decision because, as it turns out, when I had a poor grades in Year 11 and through Year 12, that was possibly because I was internalising things, because the minute that I came out, my grades at uni got better and I wish I’d done something with coming out earlier because maybe I wouldn’t have had such a bad time in the HSC.
Paul Galea:
But you have got to remember that in hindsight, everything’s easy to see. You know, you were doing the best you could at the time, so, yeah, you have to accept that. OK, Alexandra, it’s been lovely to chat with you.
Alexandra:
Lovely to chat to you, too.
Paul Galea:
And I’m very happy to hear that you’re going well. Please give your mum a big hug from me. Good person, your mother. And I’ll speak to you soon.
Alexandra:
Speak to you soon. Bye.